Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
