My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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