My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
