watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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