he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
