If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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