some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
