yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
