I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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