I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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