My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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