You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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