i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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