you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
