No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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