What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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