i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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