dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize