i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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