she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
