Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
