And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
