ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
