I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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