I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
