I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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