Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize