butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
