It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
