Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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