One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
