are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
