Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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