Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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