I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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