We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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