u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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