It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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