This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
