I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
