my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
