i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
