I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
