i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
