I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
