You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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