Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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