Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
