sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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