I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
