some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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