he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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