hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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