yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife