never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.