i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
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We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
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Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.