There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
