She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!