I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
