I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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