i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
