Dignity is for republicans.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize