He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We named our party play list daddy issues
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
