I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she peed on how many people?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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