if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
