I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm sobbing to NWA
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
