I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize