I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
