It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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